My Story
"Every Human is an artist. And this is the main art that we have:
the creation of our story."
Don Miguel Ruiz
I refer to myself as a Story Warrior because I want to fight to disarm the stories that are false.
Our lives are made up of stories. Humans have been telling stories since time immemorial, and we all have a story we tell ourselves.
Unfortunately, not all of our stories are based on the truth. When we live our lives within the confines of those false stories, we're trapped in them, and suffering ensues.
I grew up in an alcoholic home where my father drank and at times gambled away his paycheck. I loved him dearly, but I could not fix him even though I tried. It took me years to realize it wasn't my job to fix my father.
We all have a story and if the story isn't based on the truth we get trapped in it, and we suffer. Our suffering can cuase feelings of disconnetion, depression, and anxiety. All of these can lead to unhealthy choices including dysfuntional realtionships, addictions, eating disorders and many other problems. For those who continue to suffer - hopeless can sink in.
For many years I experienced feelings of depression, anxiety, and I had an eating disorder all this turned into a drinking problem. As years passed, and I continued to stay stuck in my story, I came to the point where I no longer wanted to live.
Over a number of years, I saw therapists, read a whole lot of books, went to workshops, and listened to lectures. I learned to pull the weeds out of the garden in my mind and plant things that would nourish me instead. This changed my story!
My book, The Fork in the Path, is about how I discovered a way out of suffering by stopping the negative story in my head.
By practicing Awareness of The 9 Forks, I'm able to see what's true and make shifts in my thoughts and beliefs which change my feelings. When my feelings change, I become aware of what I may need to let go of or take control of. I then am able to change my focus which allows me to make different choices about what actions I am taking in my life. All of this causes me to feel more connected. The result is positive change in my life and my story.
I've spent the past 25 years researching depression, anxiety, addictions, and eating disorders. I've trained with four institutions in the area of conflict resolution and communication skills, including the international organization for Nonviolent Communication. I've discovered what many professionals know, and I compiled the information all together in an easy to understand and practical way in The Fork in the Path and The Fork Trail Guide. I've worked as a parent coach , phone counselor, and support group facilitator for numberous organizations. I currently teach classes where we focus on The 9 Forks to create inner change which creates outer change!
Three Parts of my story:
I was raised in an alcoholic home = I tried to fix people to feel worthwhile.
I had un-diagnosed learning differences = I often felt stupid around others.
Both my parents tended to be perfectionist; possibly I was born with this trait, or I just learned it from them. I spent years trying to be perfect = I was an insecure, anxious, workaholic trying to prove my worth.
All life is about growth; a seed turns into a piece of fruit we can eat and an acorn grows into an oak tree, a worm completely transforms and becomes a beautiful butterfly. We humans grow just as everything else on the planet does.
Part of our growth is emotional. One thing we all seem to have in common is the need to feel worthwhile. We often spend years of our lives not feeling we are good enough.
When we become aware of the stories we tell about ourselves, others, and life we are able to see things more clearly which allows us to see ourselves and others for who we really are beyond what we say or do. This growth expands our consciousness.
When I decided to stop the story in my head and asked "What else is true?" My life changed.
It's been an amazing journey to freedom. I haven't been depressed in over fifteen years. I deal with anxiety by practicing the Nine Forks in the Path.
I came to see myself in a new light. I'm still quite aware of my many flaws, but I don't discount my good qualities. I work at giving myself the same acceptance, compassion, and love I try to give others.
You can change your story. By practicing The 9 Forks you will discover a new path filled with connection, peace, love, and even moments of joy!