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liliasinclaire

The Steady Flow of Life

Updated: Dec 26, 2021


I have lived much of my life around three things: lists, should's, and guilt. Yet I know life is happening in between these. I'm pretty disciplined, I get a lot done, and I've accomplished some cool things. BUT I rush around because I have that list in my head of what I should get done, and if I don't, I'll feel guilty. In all my busyness, I'm not in the flow of life. I miss a lot; often I don't notice things: nature, beauty, people.


I have no idea where this mentality came from, and it doesn't matter. What matters is that I know I need to change my thinking. Because even though I may accomplish a lot more than the average bear, I am missing out on life right now.


I was doing so well before the pandemic; I was more present and aware. Then so many stressful things happened one after another. Stress can get me off track. The irony is when I have a lot of stress that's exactly when I need to be more present, let go of should's and guilt and be gentle with myself - like I'm my own best friend. Pema Chodron says, "Gentleness is a sense of good heartedness toward ourselves."


Recently, my stress has wrapped around losing my dog who was my best friend. I injured myself and had surgery. I lost a loved one to Covid. I've been in a lot of pain, and I felt completely drained physically, emotionally, mentally, and financially. I need to take time to heal.


"Your calm mind is the ultimate weapon against challenges. So, relax." said Bryant McGill.


This is a perfect time for me to let go of my lists, should's, and guilt. This is a perfect time to notice the beauty all around me and in me. This is the perfect time to be gentle on myself and treat myself like I would a friend.


Even as I write this I hear a voice in my head saying, "What should I really be doing right now?" That's funny, and it's great I can notice that voice!


Lately, I'm replacing the lists, should's, and guilt with: slow, soft, and steady.

Slowly, I am softening to the steady flow of life - just being in the flow - I sit more and listen. It's good but takes practice.



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Gener Bunggay
Gener Bunggay
Nov 08, 2021

I can emphatize Lili! This past year has been nothing but a constant on the run. But I am trying to slow down, at least for a day, so I can smell the flowers, and appreciate the beauty around me. I am sorry to hear about you losing a loved one to COVID. I hope your recovery is going well. Sending you healing vibes your way!

PS. Loving that picture of Schmetterling and the bird :-)

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j.guarnera
Sep 09, 2021

Oh, Lili, your name has popped up several times in my feed and I've stopped to think about you. I confess that I didn't send an email, because I'm trying to be kind to myself. I know so many wonderful people, most of whom are busy in their own right and don't take the time to connect. I'm aware that many of my friends see me as the person who connects and let me do it. Following your thinking, I'm trying to let my gut guide me in order to decide whom and what issues I might respond to.

Right now, my gut said, "Lili." I'm so sorry about the pain and losses you've experienced. You know how much I…


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liliasinclaire
Sep 09, 2021
Replying to

Judy, It's so wonderful to hear from you! Yes, when we practice what works for us, we make peace with our situation; expecting perfection brings misery. Thank you for your kind words and taking the time to write me. I'm glad you have made some changes with the organizations you so kindly give your time to and that you made your own peace. Until we meet again, love, Lili

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